I made this video recently, its sort of my first finished story for my story telling project at church. It was a lot of fun to make. Overall I think it came out well. For my next one im going to be doing something a bit bigger involving a lot more people. This next one is actually a bit intimidating because I am hoping to go out and get interviews with lots of people who i don’t really know and don’t necessarily have an existing relationship with the church. I’m not very good at that so it’s a bit scary right now!

Food Pantry and Clothing Closet from Ben West on Vimeo.

This is my reflection on one of our recent classes with Mark of TellTheirStory.org

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It seems that there were two basic areas we talked about with Mark…related but distinct. Ill start with development.

I do of course really appreciate the approach of micro finance, partnering with people in empowering relationships, and involving investors and donors in a very real way. Jacqueline Novogratz’s idea of patient capital (long term investment where the return is more about social change then a monetary percentage), is a really compelling idea to me, and is very closely related to what Mark is doing.

The thing that stands out from that conversation was the idea of approaching economics from a standpoint of scarcity or plenty. I do think in terms of plenty…I have no doubt that there is plenty for all. But I guess it seems like it depends on what you are measuring. Here is my worry: what if there are some things that do have to be given up to allow others to have plenty? The easy thing to pick on is anything we have the can derive from exploitation (cheap stuff, diamonds, coffee, sugar). What if we, as people with plenty, think we don’t have enough to make sure factory workers in China are paid a living wage? Now, I don’t want to be cliche with this stuff, the issues of trade, labor, wage, exploitation, etc. are very complex (see The Travels of a T-Shirt in the Global Economy: An Economist Examines the Markets, Power, and Politics of World Trade), even if you just try to look at one single industry. Understanding it on a global scale seems impossible. But my worry stands; what trappings of plenty are possible because somebody has less?

I’m not sure where im going with this. I guess that I wonder if there is in fact something that has to be given up? I’m not talking about some sort of redistribution of wealth, that those with plenty will have to have nothing so that others can have something. But, it seems that there are some things we have that are built on the shoulders of the poor. It seems that this a lot of it is unimportant stuff though, cheap stuff from wal-mart. I don’t know, I might just not understand the economics of it all well enough, but it seems like this issue is less cut and dry then just saying that everybody can have everything. I found this picture a long time ago painted by the artist Banksy:

I think about it a lot. So, what if we are unwilling to pay 10% more on a meal so that the guy washing dishes can earn enough in a 60 hour week to pay rent? Part of this I suppose has to do with thinking long term. The person buying the meal might happen to own an antique shop. If this person only thinks short term then this is a situation of scarcity. There are only $10 in the meal and they have to be divided up. Somebody does not get enough. Or the customer can give up the extra dollar and pay $11, thus insuring that everybody had enough, except that he is out the dollar. In the short term he loses. But, I suppose, that if you look in the long term he might not. If all the dishwashers in the world have a bit of extra money some of them will start collecting antiques, and he gets his dollar back. I don’t know…i think i would need a degree in economics to really understand all of this!

There is another issue around this that we did not really talk about but it is related. For the sake of simplicity lets say that we (us) are obsessed with having stuff, with being comfortable at all costs, that we have built walls between us and nature, that we don’t know what it means to be connected to people, that we have to be entertained, that our priorities are wrong…all the negative stereotypes of the privileged that you can think of. So, say we invest patently, empower people, develop economies and create wealth. Are we just giving people tools to be us? To end up in a life obsessed with having stuff, with being comfortable at all costs, with walls between them and nature, without connections with people, needing to be entertained, with wrong priorities? I have two thoughts about this right now:

First, Jacqueline Novogratz returns. She has some interesting things to say about this. First, she throws out the romantic view of poverty. This is the idea that people with nothing are really better off because they understand family, community, and generosity. These things may be true, but the also have to walk five hours a day to get water, are always hungry, and their infant daughter died last week. So, Jacqueline says that we are giving people a choice. Through smart investment and development we allow people to choose to stay where they are, or to start down the path of developing economies and all that comes with that (good and bad). If they are really better off where they are, they will stay.

Second, I think this issue speaks to part of why development and spiritual formation go hand in hand. The thing that prevents people from becoming us is having the right person at the center of the story. If I am at the center of the story then naturally I can become obsessed with having stuff, with being comfortable at all costs, have to be entertained and with wrong priorities. However, if Christ is the center of my story then I probably will still become all of those things, but I will be fighting it. Christ will teach me to use my stuff to help others, to bring comfort to others, for my entertainment to be something more then mindless, and to have right priorities.

There is a bunch of stuff about this at Speaking of Faith if your interested.

On to story.

It is clear that Mark has thought about story a lot more then me, which is not surprising. It’s also clear that I have thought about economic development a lot more then story…

The question of exploitation is obviously important to me. I want to make sure that as I record what people have to say and take their picture that I do not use them, manipulate their words, be untruthful. I am really still processing this. I think the biggest place where this tension exists for me is when you are telling stories for the sake of an organization or project. Tomorrow I am going to start making a list of people i want to interview for a specific project. This project has a broad purpose, essentially it is to profile the community around the church so that we can give a taste of east Tulsa during a fund raiser. All i have to do is document what is, what people really say. Yet there is a temptation to shape the story. I want to show a “realistic yet hopeful” view of the community. I am already putting my agenda on it. What if there is no hope? Then what? In this case it’s actually not really that big a deal. I really can just show what I find. But what if Mark goes out and interviews a local hero and by the end the gist is “we have been working hard for 10 years, and now the water pump is broken, im tired of this, one of our co-op members stole all our money, and we are no better off then we were 10 years ago. It was better when people just showed up every now and then and gave us free food.” Then what? If it were me I hope I would be willing to take that story, put it in context, put it on the web site and be honest in saying that what we do is hard, that we don’t always have the answers, sometimes we might be wrong and make mistakes, that there are setbacks, and that it takes perseverance. But I think i would probably be scared to.

In the end I think that this is not solvable. You just have to know that this tension exists, and make sure that you are constantly checking yourself.

The most encouraging part of the conversation was hearing mark talk about the value that recording somebodies story brings to them. That just by taking the time to listen you help somebody feel like they have worth and value. Over the last several weeks as i have been interviewing a few people I think that is part of what I have enjoyed the most, is that they have seemed to really appreciate getting to share a bit about themselves with somebody. I have enjoyed hearing the stories and have learned from them, but i think (hope) that they felt valued because of the time I spent with them.

We are building a whole new site for CQMissional. Check it out: www.cqmissional.com

We have 11 different people who will be contributing posts that range in topics from justice to current culture. It’s going to be fun to see what comes of it!

There is a lot of content up already, here are a few posts to check out to get started on:

Scott on the motivation the tragedy brings, and the question of the rest of the everyday tragedies: http://www.cqmissional.com/2010/01/14/motivation-x-tragedy/

Ardelle on how taking care of ourselves allows us to have something to give: http://www.cqmissional.com/2010/01/21/centered-or-self-centered/

A few thoughts on CQMissional: http://www.cqmissional.com/2010/01/17/what-we-do-and-why-that-can-be-weird/

I hope you find something interesting on this new site, and even engage some ideas. If  you like what you see and want to spread the word we would appreciate it!

last thing, if you want to just jump here is the RSS feed for the site: http://feeds.feedburner.com/CQMissional

There is a CQMissional Facebook page also..if your interested.

During our class we discussed three characteristics of communities of spiritual formation: people tell the truth, power and goals are different from the world and fear is diminished.

It seems this is a good framework for some reflection on the Garnett Church of Christ community.

People Tell the Truth:

This community values the truth. One of the most stark examples of this to me is how the leadership of the church handled the case of a young couple in the church who had a baby together before they were married. This would be a prime chance to ignore a situation, sweep it under the rug, or try to handle it in some secret cliche way. Instead the leadership of the church chose to handle this in the open. the leadership stood before the church at acknowledged that there had been sin, that there were consequences to what had happened. The couple then stood before the church and everybody laid hands on them and prayed for them.

So, it was awesome to see truth told, but it was truth backed up with love. They could have told the truth of sin and consequence, and it could have lead to rejection and isolation, but instead it is (i think) leading to healing and restoration.

I often hear (or are part of) conversations about transparency between leadership and the congregation. This transparency ranges from budget discussions to ministry leadership. I think that this openness and honesty is something that is truly being strived for.

A sort of institutional honesty is a big part of this of course. But it seems that there is another aspect to this, and that is how individuals relate to each other. Do they tell the truth and are honest? This is harder to know about of course, Its harder to know and understand what is going on within individual relationships. There are some times though when I feel like there may be some untruth between individuals. I don’t really have any specific examples of this, I think this is normal relationship stuff…people avoiding conflict, wanting people to like them and not saying no. I don’t at all think that this is some sort of indication that there is some secret covering up of truth, rather that people are people in every community.

Power and Goals are Different from the World.

There is clearly a different goal at Garnett. I have never really felt like anybody is looking for power or to build a kingdom. They truly are trying to create a place where God’s love is shown to all people. People on the outside see this. Greg has told me that even Mayor Cathy Taylor saw that Garnett Church loved all people, and that this was unusual, even at times among churches.

I think that the question of process vs. program is interesting at Garnett Church of Christ. I have never felt like there is a drive to create some sort of program that will drive people to the outcome that the church wants. At the same time I think they are still trying to figure out the process. Not that this is a community that has no direction and is just wondering around. It is clear that this community wants all people to know God’s love, but the question of how this community does that is not as well defined. This is not surprising (or even bad really) considering that the church in its current form (leadership, etc) has been around for less then a year. I guess the bottom line is that this place does not seem to want to have anything to do with programs that shoehorn people into set expectations and seek out preset conclusions. They truly are seeking ways to serve people through relationship and knowing them.

Fear is Diminished.

I have one story to tell that I think sums up this point about Garnett:

Yesterday i was interviewing a lady who has gone to Garnett Church of Christ for the last 40 years. I asked her what the biggest struggle she has overcome in her life was. She said her divorce. Some time ago, i really don’t know exactly when, her and her then husband attended church at Garnett. They were active members teaching Sunday school together and being very involved in the Church. Then he had an affair. She went through a lot, but the church stood by her. I asked if she was ever worried that the church would reject her because of her divorce, that she would in some way be marginalized. Her answer: “Never. It never even occurred to me.”  No doubt she felt a lot of fear and rejection during this time. But the community stood to accept her and to help her overcome that fear.

A lot is different about this church then it was 20 or 30 years ago, but on this point I don’t think much has changed.

Last week we got to spend some time with Mark Regouby of TellTheirStory.org. We talked a lot about how to tell somebodies story and not exploit them. Mark works to connect people from the states to microfinance projects in the developing world. He also records and tells the stories of the people who are part of these projects. So, here is the question: how do you record and tell somebodies story and not exploit them? Especially when your organization (and livelihood) depend on somebody hearing the story and being compelled to some action. I’m not sure the answer…perhaps you just have to live with the tension of that.

Tonight I was out walking around taking a few pictures. As I was walking I noticed a homeless man sleeping. I must say, this might be the hardest picture i have ever taken:

It’s not even a great picture, but it took me a long time to decide to take it. I think there is an important story in this picture…a story about homelessness, hopelessness, perhaps something about economy, health care, family…despite that it does seem a bit exploitative. Did I just take it to satisfy my desire to take an interesting picture? Or to make a blog post about something I have been thinking about? I envy great street photographers who can take pictures of people and compel the viewer to consider how to react to the situation. Perhaps someday I will take a picture that does that…but i hope that I never lose sight of people, and never disrespect the story of the people in the picture.

what do you think? How do you take pictures of people, how do you tell the stories of people without turning them into mere subjects?

We are both excited about our projects. They are unique and each of them have aspects that are challenging to us. They both involve meeting with lots of people and getting to know lots of people, and that can be intimidating for us. Maybe we sound a little crazy for continuing to say that we are excited by being challenged. But the truth is that while being stretched and challenged in these ways is not always easy for us, we know that they will help us experience more of this life that we’ve been called to: to love all.

I’ve never talked or thought about coffee more than I have in the past few months. (I’m not complaining though.)

My project for this year will be to help develop a cafe in the lobby of Garnett.

The vision for this is not an original idea of mine, but something that the staff of Garnett & the Green Country Event Center has been talking about for awhile now. Out of all the ideas and dreams they have for what their ministry could look like, this is the one that I have latched onto.

The idea is to create an environment that allows people from all walks of life to come and inhabit the same space for a little while. To physically see that there are others out there may or may not be like us. (This can be seen by having members of the church come and meet for coffee there, where they may run into folks that are there taking ESL classes.) The space is already there, and in fact, is one of the most under-utilized spaces inside the building. It is in a central location-right in the middle of the building, and easily accessible from all the different hallways.

In our initial talks with those who rent space in the Event Center, we have heard from several different organizations that they think having a café would be beneficial. They can see their students, parents, guests staying after their class or event to grab a bite to eat and continue to spend time together. I envision students from the GED/ESL classes being able to find an inexpensive dinner before/during classes, and maybe their family members can even come up there and see them before or after classes. By making this café open when the building is currently in use (until 10pm each weekday) and providing inexpensive food and beverage options, this space could be quite attractive to people in the community. (Not just those who currently come to the Event Center already.)

Some specifics are to provide coffee, sandwiches, snacks, juice, internet and a comfortable environment. It is an ideal addition because the Event Center is already paying for most of the overhead costs (utilities, etc.) when the building is being used. This makes it so the space is better-utilized. Also, the main purpose underlying the whole idea of the Event Center in the first place is to open up the building and interact with the community. By creating a space that is inviting and accessible, then they can foster more interactions. And by making it a destination spot (instead of going to Starbucks) they can help enable more relationships between church members and guests that are there for a class, or event. We’re also talking about using this as an avenue for raising local and global awareness. With everything from the coffee we serve to eventually being able to help provide some job training to people in the community, we want this café to have an outward focus.

This is a great project for me, specifically, because it allows me to think systemically as we develop this business. I can use my administrative skills as we develop these dreams into something real and tangible (and sustainable). Plus, it stretches me out of my comfort zone as well. I’ve been having (and initiating) many conversations with tenants at the Event Center, as well as others involved in the coffee shop business in this area. I am also being stretched by having a big project to develop into something real. I really function well when given tasks, and often get overwhelmed by the idea of a project of this magnitude. And I want to be sure to keep a relational aspect of this for myself and for the café in general as we get into this. To keep me in touch with the needs and wants of the community, not just to develop this into something that fits what I want.

So if you have any advice on anything related to coffee, or starting a business, send it my way! I’m all ears.

The other day I had the chance to meet a man who came to the church looking for help with rent. I ended up sitting at a table with him just talking. He had an amazing story.  He had done a bit of everything, from living in the woods with a bunch of wandering people, making drums for a living, carrying a cross around Salt lake City….he had done a lot of things in his life, the last 18 years of which he had spent in prison.  It was a pleasure to hear his story. I have to say I am a bit untrusting when i hear amazing stories of massive life change, I guess i have some cynic in me, but despite that it was encouraging to hear somebody talk of how God has meet them in a difficult time in life, and to hear his faith that God will provide in the future. The hard part now for him of course is finding a job. It’s hard for somebody who has committed a crime worthy of 18 years in prison to get a job.  I hope the right person is willing to take a risk on him, that somebody is willing to be part of a small redemptive work in Tulsa.

As part of our time in the CML we each have a project we will be working on. I finally picked mine…which took a while. I had several possibilites, the first one that i was drawn to was to begin working to start a coffee import business. For various reason i have decided not to do that right away…there are parts of being involved in a project like that which really interest me, so someday….you never know.

For my project i am going to try my hand at being a story teller. For a long time i have been fascinated by peoples stories. This American Life is one of my all time favorite things to do in my spare time. I have also always greatly  admired people who can go out and with boldness make people comfortable enough to open up to a stranger in front of the mic, pen, or camera and be real and honest. That is not a skill i have…honestly it goes against a lot of things that are really deep within me. So, i figure ill spend the next 9 or so months really out of my skill set and comfort and see if I can get some people to tell me where they come from, who they are, what they are doing, there dreams, struggles, and passions, let me document those things, and see if i can come up with some sort of finished product that is compelling enough to get people to care. I think there is a good chance i will fall flat on my face with this one.

I have not really fleshed this out yet…so i don’t know exactly what it will look like, but there are 2 basic types of stores i want to tell. First are stores of things that happen inside of the Green Country Event Center where we are working. So, for example i want to tell the story of Angel Food, the Food Pantry, AA, etc. The second story i want to tell are those of the people that live in the community around the church. It is a very diverse community, and i think there are a lot really interesting things to learn from the people who live nearby. So…there it is…now i just have to go actually talk to people…that is the scary part.

It seems that it is time for a blog post…but im not sure what to write about…so how about some random stuff:

a great movie: God Grew Tired of Us You really should see it. It is the true story of a group of The Lost Boys of Sudan who come to America as refuges. I think what was most fascinating about it to me was the conflict between the comfort and safety they found in the united states, and the pain of being taken out of their community.

Here is an interesting article about urban decay and potential renewal: Detroit

This one is for Cass: xkcd

This week I: picked a project, talked to a guy who just got out of prison, was asked if i was Jesus or homeless, bought a christmas tree, painted a lot, ate a lot of cookies, didnt ride my bike, designed a bulletin, worked on the beginnings of a new web site for CQMissional (which could be really cool…watch for it…), watched It’s a Wonderful Life. More on some of those things later.